Where have I been?

time to catch up!

Adam now has 6 teeth, he's a crawling and standing maniac (mommy has a few daily heart attacks), he's eating all kinds of yummy foods and still breastfeeding (yay!)... we've been going to the beach, we went to palm springs and he swam in the pool for the first time... he's such a great baby, I'm a really lucky mama to have him... pass the tissues!
 

 
isnt he amazing?!

we just have so much fun together, yes being a mama isnt easy but its so worth it.  

Some other new stuff... Rob got a new job! yaay! We are very very excited!! And he has an entire week off before he starts so we're getting tons of things done around the house, just today we took a big trip to Ikea (disneyland for adults!) and got some much needed storage stuff for Adam's closet and a few other things. 

So overall LIFE IS WONDERFUL!!!

cushy tushy

These days I'm attempting be more green so I'm giving disposable diapers the boot from my house.  This isn't some lame attempt to be "cool" or "trendy"... its my attempt to love my planet... the place we all call home.  I want my child to live on a clean happy planet, don't you?


I read up on the diaper stats these days and quite frankly I was appalled.  Apparently each baby in the world will put 1 ton (or 2000 pounds if thats easier to wrap your head around or the size of a honda civic) of disposable diapers into landfills... and then those diapers will take 400 years to biodegrade.  hmmph, how can I do that to mother earth??  I just dont feel good about it so I'm pulling away from those oh-so convenient little things.  What I'm realizing is what is convenient in life is also expensive and wasteful.  I see so many people these days using reusable shopping bags, reusable coffee mugs and water jugs... why not reusable diapers? Maybe its because its something others cannot see you doing.. not as if moms go around bragging that they are saving the environment  by choosing cloth... but a big green reusable bag however is the new staple accessory screaming "look at me! I care about my planet!"... or how about all those "green" products that are designed to keep harmful chemicals out of our environment or even the organic veggies keeping pesticides out of our bodies and our homes... why are people so quick to jump on those band-wagons but have no clue about the effect of disposable diapers on our environment? (fyi-sposies are made with chemicals that are bad for baby AND the planet).


Disposable diapers first became popular in the 1940's... so obviously for many many years before then, mommas were handling dirty diapers in other ways besides taking them off and tossing into the trash. In Elizabethan days diapers were made of fabric and left on for days and days (eww!), at one point diapers were boiled to kill germs, they've had plastic covers and sharp safety pins to keep them closed.  These days cloth diapers are truly amazing... They velcro or snap shut, they are soft as ever and wash easily. The cuteness factor alone is enough to want to cloth diaper your precious babe.  Yes its intimidating when you first start but once you've tried a few and found a favorite.. you get addicted.. I'm officially addicted to the cloth.


Why I love em:
They are so stinkin cute... the color & pattern options are endless
They are soft on Adam's lil tush... sposies are papery, cloth are soft and cushy.
I'm not putting any trash into my planet
I dont have to worry about running out of diapers... I just pop em in the washer and within an hour or so I have clean diapers!


and heres the $$$ part- sposies cost about .22 cents each.  I was using about 6 sposies a day x 30 days in a month, 180 diapers a month x .22 cents = $39 a month.  Most kids wear diapers for 2 years so that comes out to a grand total of $936 on diapers in two years... Plus over 4000 diapers went would be sitting in landfills.  I'm also planning to have another child so if I chose to just be lazy and use disposables we're talkin over $1800 and 8000 diapers in a landfill.  Three children, $2700 and 12,000 diapers in a landfill and so on.


Now a good cloth diaper stash is about 20 diapers... they can cost anywhere from $5-$30 each.  The ones I buy are about $15 each so $15x20= $300 and I can reuse these diapers for baby #2! Just there I've saved over $600 ($1200 with 2 kids, $1800 with 3 kids and so on!) and I've saved a lil space in a landfill :) who am I kidding, I would have saved one whole TON of space in a landfill! yay me!


And dont think I havent thought about the energy and water it takes to wash these diapers myself... I have.  Bottom line is it costs about .50 cents per load and I use the smallest load setting therefore using the smallest amount of water possible. 


So I'm feeling pretty proud... I know I'm only one person but heck, if we all do something small, it amounts to something great.  Disposable diapers are easy.. but wasteful.  We all need to do our part in reducing trash on our planet and cloth diapers are a great place to start...

Adam in cloth!

look how cute they are!!

I'm all in

Rob and I have both been feeling a bit cooped up these days.  Having a baby means you stay home A LOT.  Taking them out places is practically like going on a 3 day trip... you have to pack their bag, load the stroller, grab the toys... did I remember to pack diapers??? I finally understand why new parents are so home-bound.  So on Saturday night we decide to ask some friends with kids (or pregnant) to come to our house for take-out and game night. 

Now normally we would be thinking "hmmm do we have enough beer? Which wine should we open?"  but with one couple pregnant, one couple trying for baby #2 and two breastfeeding mommas alcohol wasn't exactly a priority.. So I set out a nice little tray of nibbles, a few diet cokes, iced tea and water.  Of course the husbands could (and would) drink some cocktails, after all they've all been through recently they deserve it. 

We decide on a local pizza joint to deliver us some yum yum pizzas and salads... we all sit around in our living room gabbering, honestly the converstation was hilarious... here are some snippets:

"yeah so who's gettin any these days?" asks one daddy... the room goes silent until one daddy admits "well we're trying for #2 so...." and all the other dads go crazy high fiving and such...

"you should see what my baby is doing these days! he can stand up alone!" (this daddy is referring to an 8 week old baby who obviously cannot do such a trick)

"hey Andrea, did you have an episiotomy?" (this question is being asked by a daddy while I'm on the phone ordering pizza) "NO" I respond and then this daddy goes on to say "WOW, really?" (what the heck is that supposed to mean??!)

This was a scene straight from some type of movie yet to be made about the realness of becoming a parent.. it just changes you!  You no longer throw back shots of tequila but rather you debate the neccesity of vaccinations or what latest greatest baby toys you'll be purchasing for your lil one this christmas. 

Next we move to our dining room for a game of texas hold'em.  Just a friendly game of poker between friends.  Things start off normal.  My baby is napping, another baby eating a bottle, another baby (well she's 22 months) watching tv and the pregnant couple saying their goodbye's because mama is tired.  As the game gets started... all hell breaks loose. Babies are crying and whining all over the place! Mommas and Daddas are taking turns handing baby back and forth, operating like well oiled machines "here hold him while I shuffle" "warm up the bottle fast... I'm all in!" Mommas are standing up swaying baby to keep them happy while counting their chips.  Daddys are trying to bluff each other while wiping off spit-up from their shoulder... it was classic and chaotic and the most fun I've had in a while.  Had we invited anyone without kids, they surely would have made up a reason to leave early.  Only us parents could have played a game of texas hold'em poker while managing all our babies.  At the end of the night I went "all in" against my own husband all while feeding Adam oatmeal... "more yum yums? open wide!"... I'm quite the multi-tasker these days.

What did I learn after this fun family night? The fun doesn't end once you have kids but its a different type of fun and you find yourself oddly content. As I walked Adam up the stairs to start our night-night time routine, I felt happy and whole... I can have it all,  I can play poker AND be a mommy! 

oh and by the way...Rob beat me on my all in hand!

a few firsts..

From the moment I found out I was having a baby I started thinking about all the fun first events baby and I would have... Once I knew his due date I realized his first "holiday" would be Halloween, how exciting! Rob and I are huge halloween fanatics, we dress up every year, spook up our house, go to parties and such.. Heck, last year I was pregnant with little man but didnt know it just yet and we were celebrating first class at a literal castle in Bel Air!

This Halloween naturally was a family event... We took a few trips to the pumpkin patch which was TONS of fun... then we had our first annual pumpkin carving contest.  We invited all our neighbors and some friends and it turned out to be such a hit!  Kids were busy carving out pumpkin teeth, scooping out the guts and trying to make theirs the "winner".  I put on some orange and black tights and a little dark makeup but thats as far as my costume went... I didnt mind one bit because all along I felt the excitement of sharing Halloween with my lil monkey boy.  Halloween night we put Adam in his monkey costume and took him trick or treating on our block, he really liked his lil monkey suit! A few friends and grandpa came over... we ate frozen pizzas and played ping pong... such a mellow time but I couldnt ask for more.  I can hardly believe that next Halloween Adam will be toddling down our street holding his own candy catching basket...

Then came Thanksgiving.  Oh how thankful and grateful I am.  We were blessed enough to have our family over to share Thanksgiving dinner.  I cooked a ham, turkey breast and some pies, Gramma & Letty brought everything else.  I set the table beautifully using my wedding china for the first time.  Earlier that day I put Adam in his adorable "My First Thanksgiving" shirt.. he looked so cute! Adam's Uncle Keith was the first to arrive and after they hung out together for a while, Keith helped me cook a bit which was very fun (and a first!).  Slowly family came trickling in until the house was full of different voices and lots of food too.  His Uncle Andrew came and met him for the first time, I was surprised how confident Uncle Andrew was with him.  Everyone was super cute with Adam, wanting to hold him and make him laugh... I smiled in the background realizing this was a memory I never wanted to forget.  Like an angel Adam took a nap during dinner so mommy could actually enjoy her hard work... once he woke up I brought him to the dinner table and everyone was talking to him, he was smiling and giggling.. I even gave him a bite of sweet potatoes! (he loved them and I think they made him hyper!!)

These are the memories that I hope stay with me forever... in fact I'm willing to give up some space in my head to make room for these times I never want to forget...

Ashley in costume

us all in our costumes

my perfect lil pumpkin boy

First Thanksgiving pie baking with Godmother

Adam's first thanksgiving beach stroll

My brothers

our feast

Cry like a baby.

I decided to start a blog to journal all my new mommy experiences and boy have there already been many! Who knew poopie diapers and snap-crotch onesies could be so fun, that I'd be checking out the strollers parked in front of the local cafe feeling jealous about the number of cup holders it has or the size of its basket below. I used to spend my time at the mall shopping for the latest trends in fashion, now I spend my time trying to find the best educational toys and most absorbant diapers. I used to spend my nights out on the town, dressed to the nines, holding a cocktail and flirting with boys. My nights now are spent in flannel pajamas, holding my baby boy, praying I can get him down to sleep for the night and theres no place I'd rather be. Becoming a mommy has forever changed me in all the right ways.

Rob and I met in December 2002 at the bar Towne. I was 24 and he was 32. I had never dated anyone over 25 so right off the bat I kind of pushed him off thinking 32 was just a little too old for me. But this was just an excuse... truly I was suffering from a recent heart-break and I just wasnt quite ready for a "new" love. Yes a boy had broken my heart but deeper was the pain I felt from losing my own mommy. Her death was still quite fresh, just 3 years she had been gone... losing my mommy consumed my life. Everyday I saw her in the mirror looking back at me. I thought of her constantly whether I wanted to or not. When I woke up each morning, usually with a terrible hangover, I would think "shes still gone" and out the tears would flow, I'd bury them in my pillow, bury them in boyfriends, bury them with a glass of wine, just as I had buried her into the ground.

Everyday I was reminded that she was gone, she wasnt coming back and it ripped and tore my heart apart. I really felt in those moments I could never love again... that the loss of her had forever changed my ability to love, be loved, to feel loved... it was a pain so intense it made me feel sick, it caused me to roll myself up in a ball and bawl. When you lose your mommy, you cry like a baby...

As I left Towne that night, I took a final look over my shoulder and saw the back of Rob heading home. I knew there was something special about him. Our conversation that night was one I never want to forget, so deep and real. I wanted to give him a chance and I wanted him to give me the same. He gave me his card but would I call? I didn't know if I could. Two weeks later I did call. This December we are celebrating our 7 year anniversary... I'm soooo glad I went to Towne that night...



What I've learned since losing my mommy is that it has not prevented me from loving or feeling loved... its made me love stronger.  The moment I held my baby boy love surged through my veins, I was forever changed by him... losing her made my love for Adam real.  In that moment I realized how she must have loved me.  And I also realized how much Adam loved me, his mommy...


            Mommy & Adam, 1 day old

                My mommy Cheri Ann